Bloody Money


[Bad Kids Go To Hell]
Synopsis:Follows the exploits of six students from Crestview Academy, on a stormy Saturday afternoon. Where they serve out their detentions, and soon begin to meet horrible fates systematically. Is a fellow student to blame, or perhaps Crestview's alleged ghosts are behind the terrible acts?

Cast:Judd Nelson, Ben Browder, Mike Gassaway, Ali Faulkner, Augie Duke, Marc Donato, Chanel Ryan.

My Thoughts:Um...what the hell was this supposed to be again?

Review:"Teen horror" is in a bad state of affairs right now. That's not to say that it hasn't been in a bad state of affairs prior to this current time period. But these days? It's, REAL, bad. The latest example of this? Matthew Spradlin's "Bad Kids Go To Hell". A movie that takes "teens" and "horror". As two elements in a cinematic soup that you immediately feel sick after digesting. The movie opens up in quite a cool fashion however. Which is sad due to what happens after the opening. But could also be looked upon as a warning about counting your chickens before they hatch. Anyways, a SWAT team bursts into the library of Crestview Academy, and centers their weapons upon a teenager holding an axe.

He is surrounded by the lifeless, bloody corpses of his friends/classmates. Which means he, of course killed them, right? Well....not so much. Seems Crestview has some..."ghosts", of the past. That have yet to be sorted out. And it's possible that they could be behind the bloodbath that takes place.



This is all set up by a Saturday detention in which this group of spoiled rich kids with bad attitudes, have to suffer through. Stuck in the student library, they find all sorts of trouble to get into. I always scoff at movies, horror or not. In this case, the former. That think over-privileged snobby, rich kids...with bad "tudes"...make for interesting characters. Okay, so they make for great fodder characters. Because when they die on screen, everyone claps and cheers.

And no one really gives a damn, because they're, you know...douche bags. But as characters that one has to watch for 90 minutes or so, they're very obnoxious and intolerable. And that makes for a bad viewing experience. Furthermore. It shows laziness writing wise. Film writers should strive to make one or two maybe characters fit into this kind of mold. But in "Bad Kids"...ALL of these kids are snobby, rich, not-very-smart, and obnoxious. Except for one, but she herself is even a cliche! The non-snobby, non-obnoxious one is the cliched, "tough girl".



She's got dark hair, dresses kind of like a cross between a Wiccan and a biker chick. Modern day biker chick that is. And, she's brooding. Faith from "Buffy" she is NOT. But, she could've doubled as Faith's lil sis from...wherever in a few episodes. But the kids are the scariest part of this movie, sadly. Why? Well because this movie just doesn't know how to be scary! Or even entertaining! After we get to know these "terrible teens". Who think mommy and daddy, or mommy, or daddy's - money and clout, make them "hardcore". (They'd get eaten alive in Brooklyn though). The film decides to introduce a spooky ghost into the mix.
Through the foolish horror flick plot device of...DRUM ROLL PLEASE...A SEANCE! Oh joy! A SEANCE! In the big, creepy library of a rich kids Academy! Oh, and by the way...lets not forget that the films base conflict is, the property that the Academy sits on? Used to belong to a local Native American tribesman. Who refused to sell the property. But when he died, they just snatched it out from under him through the "proper" channels (money talks)...and built the place anyways. So chances are, his spirit still roams the land. And isn't too happy about what's occurred.


But of course, this doesn't stop the "Scooby Gang" from performing their little occult ritual. Once the seance is done, creepy stuff starts happening in the library, and of course. The bodies slowly begin to pile up. But these kids are such douches that seriously, I didn't even flinch when one of them died. In fact, the writer really pours it on in making these kids out to be some of the worst human beings on the planet. So much so, that one begins to wonder that maybe God is the one picking them off one by one. Just to, you know...do us a small favor and cleanse the earth. After all, who's gonna miss these kids? When we're introduced to them, apparently....even their own parents aren't too fond of them.



But you'd think we'd at least get some good, bloody, gory kills out of it. Well, sorry but no. The kills in this film are weak. They're bloody, but weak. They simply make no sense. Some are accidental. Others are just ridiculous. In fact, it's sad to watch these idiot kids operate in this one location for an entire movie. Everyone knows that when a film is set in one location it MUST, as an essential. SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS - out of the audience. It must have suspense, chills, and thrills! Because what weakens a film, is sticking to one area for too long. When you do that, your backup plan is high levels of terror and suspense. This film fails at that. And not only does it fail at that, but around the third act, it decides to throw in some absurd twists and turns involving the "true motives" and "secret motives"...of a few characters.

One of which turning out to be not at all what she seemed to be. And by the time this movie is done trying to be clever, which includes two plain stupid surprises in the final ten minutes...you're left asking yourself...WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST WATCH? By the end. It's a movie that had an interesting perspective. And a chance to be intriguing and different, ala the UK horror flick "Tortured". Which also revolved around some "not-so-nice" school kids. But "Bad Kids Go To Hell" was simply too obvious.

I know some will say that the title speaks for what the film is about, and its characters. But when a film just doesn't try, like...at all? It's really quite embarrassing. "Bad Kids Go To Hell" would've been better off leaving the supernatural hi-jinx out of the mix. It only made a film already headed for utter disaster, get there quicker!

THE GOOD:The films base idea of a story was decent.

THE BAD:Poor execution of the story. The characters have no depth even by one-dimensional teen standards. Also, the ghost/seance nonsense couldn't have been more mishandled. And all of this set inside one library for 90 minutes? Good grief. I felt like I was watching a lost episode of the old "Clueless" TV Show. Only minus the "fun" and "entertainment" value.

OVERALL:One star out of four.