[House At The End Of The Street]
Synopsis:A mother and daughter move to a new town and find themselves living next door to a house where a young girl murdered her parents. When the daughter befriends the surviving son, she learns the story is far from over.

Cast:Jennifer Lawrence, Max Thieriot, Elisabeth Shue, Gil Bellows, Nolan Gerard Funk, Eva Link, Allie MacDonald, Jordan Hayes, Krista Bridges, James Thomas.

My Thoughts:LMAO! What The Hell?

Review:"Sigh"...I raise my hand in admittance, that I was suckered in by the ad campaign for "The House At The End Of The Street". That made the movie "appear" as if, there were gonna be supernatural hijinx afoot. Ok? I bought in, and I feel like a total idiot for that. With that being said, are there ghosts in this movie? Uh, sure. How about "The ghost of bad horror movies past". And "The ghost of I spent 10 bucks for this ****?!"

Yeah, those ghosts, But actual, "boo", "spooky", "ghost"..ghosts? Nah, sorry. We just got PUNK'D! This film follows a mom and daughter who move to a small town community from Chicago. Or as my friends call it, 'CHI-TOWN'. Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games), plays Elissa, the daughter.

And Elisabeth Shue plays Sarah, the mom. As usual, when they arrive into the community. Everything seems ok. Everyone seems to be remotely wealthy, good-looking, happy, and all that good stuff. That is until some genius leaks to Elissa and Sarah during a gathering, that their house has a dark history. Something the two learn about earlier, but are further clued-in upon at the little "get together". It seems an entire family was slaughtered at the house next door to theirs.

And the surviving member of the family, Ryan (Max Thieriot). Still resides in the house from time to time. Elissa of course plans to avoid the house like the plague. Armed with this knowledge of death, carnage, and all that stuff. But when she meets Ryan, he's all cute and shit so she is eventually drawn to hanging out with him. Despite him living inside a creepy ass murder house. But what Elissa doesn't know, is that Ryan is ultimately the key to what occurred inside the house years ago. And Elissa could be the next victim. I love horror/thrillers that have some naive girl ending up falling into the clutches of some psycho-deranged teenage boy. I look at it as one of those "cautionary tale" horror films. Where you just shake your head in disbelief at the stupidity of our beloved heroine.

Or slab of meat, of whatever you wanna call her. What I DON'T love however, are horror/thrillers that waste my time with bad acting, bad scripts, lack of suspense, and cliche plot twists all over the place. And "House" is JUST that. There's so many problems with this movie I don't know where to begin. And while Lawrence, and Shue of course are talented actresses. I have no idea how they wound up in such a bad movie. I think more than a few people did this movie for the "check". Although Lawrence's career won't suffer much from this film. She's got that hot little franchise called "The Hunger Games" going for her after all. I wonder however, if everyone else involved with this disaster of a scary movie, will escape unscathed. My guess is, no. But I could be wrong. This movie first and foremost is barely a horror film.
It's just smooshed into that genre so it can score more box office money and dvd rentals I guess. But what's even more insulting about this movie, is how it tries to force itself into the vein of movies like "Last House On The Left" (remake and original). It's obvious this is what the filmmakers were going for. A film that falls into the category of "Last House On The Left". And can be put into that vein. By saying..."oh yeah, it's like Last House...see?" This film is NOTHING like "LHOTL". Remake or original. It's not bloody, gory, intense, or graphic. This is like an extremely watered down/disney version of "LHOTL" (2009). Lawrence has to pretend to look scared the whole movie. Of course any viewer with an IQ above that of a popsicle can obviously see there's really nothing to be afraid of. Except maybe that this film will sink her career quickly and painfully. And Max Thieriot as a villain? Really? Max Thieriot?

The kid is a good actor, but he's not scary. He doesn't have that on-screen presence that makes you think..."look! He's got to be the psycho killer!" If anything, this films sheriff character looks more like the crazy one than anybody else. But the twist that occurs involving him later in the film is even more pathetic. Basically, the story of this movie is a lot of red-herrings, and maybe the only obvious conclusion. See, Ryan had a sister named Carrie-Anne. She apparently went crazy and murdered her/his parents. She was thought to be dead after the incident, but a body was never found. And Ryan, somehow survived. And now resides within the very house where the horrible crime was committed. So two things are working here. Carrie-Anne is the killer, or Ryan is.

Or they're working in tandem. Now as the base for a scary movie, that plot arc. Albeit as thin as a catholic mass wafer, might work for an 87 minute mainstream horror flick. But when you factor in the usual BS like psychosis, lies that a blind person could see through, lazy policing of the town, a community of people living in denial, and various other recycled crap we see in "soccer mom horror". You almost have to be wasted to sit through a film like this from start to finish. Now don't get me wrong, Jennifer Lawrence is a good actress. And is the only tolerable part of this film. But again, I don't understand why she chooses "this" movie. Maybe it gave her something to do to build up that resume. But I can't see how she could read this script and say, "that sounds fantastic!" I hope for, well...ANYONE's sake.

That this movie has an ORIGINAL SCRIPT, floating on the internets somewhere. That is totally and completely different from what made it to the big screen. Because if crap like this can get made, then we are all in serious trouble for the future of this genre. The movie also forgets the most important rules of a film like this. It has to be "scary", "intense", and "graphic". "House At The End Of The Street" isn't any of those. In fact, it's not even effing close! We don't expect a script here to rival "Stephen King's:IT" or anything like that. But at least throw us a bone. The script was piss poor. And I don't know how the writers penning this thought it was gonna "scare the audience". They must've been under the influence of some heavy narcotics in that case. As a viewer, I was flabbergasted at how this movie didn't even try to wow or scare me in any scenes or sequences.

It felt like this film should've debuted on Lifetime or Oxygen as one of those "Movie Of The Week" deals. To release this to the public as a "mainstream scary movie"? Bwahahaha! FOOLS! And when the reveal is made as to how Ryan/Carrie-Anne, and the murders and the family's past all fit together. It's enough to make ALL previously deceased screenwriters do a 360 in their graves. The conclusion of the film even gets more ridiculous. Again, the writers try and make Thieriot's character Ryan scary and menacing, and fail epically. As Lawrence's character Elissa is left to fight for her life, and wonder why the hell she ever left Chicago in the first place? By the way, this movie also loses points for believability.

There's no way a girl born and raised in a town like Chicago, is going to be dumb enough to fall for the stuff Lawrence's character falls for in this movie. Even IF she is a teenager. Come on writers, city-born folks are a lot wiser than that. "Last House At The End Of The Street" makes "The Stepfather" Remake look like Oscar material. It's THAT bad! Stay away if you can!

THE GOOD:Honestly, there's no positives here except Lawrence and Shue's performances. Which were "workmen-like". Unfortunately, even their talents couldn't save this sinking ship.

THE BAD:Just about, I dunno...EVERYTHING? The script was boring and uninspired. The idea of Max Thieriot playing a psycho killer is just hilarious. It doesn't work. The folks involved in "My Soul To Take" knew that, hence why they scripted him as a red herring to the real killer! No good deaths at all in this film, annoying supporting cast, and there weren't any ghosts. Despite the TV spots and trailers suggesting the exact opposite! Kidding me man??!

OVERALL:Half a star out of four.

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